Wednesday, March 30, 2005

"I'll just, you know, protect the world from bad people"

Ahh my little superhero. Criminal at first glance but a desire to do good deeds lies somewhere under the roaring, walking on all fours, eyes rolling, smuggling dinosaurs into church exterior.

Power Rangers are not allowed in our house because my darling dear brought home one too many notes from school that said things like
"Jordan had some trouble with karate chopping someone in the neck".
To which Jeremy and I first asked - Did he not chop correctly? What trouble did he have?

Okay so there was only one such note but in my book that is one too many. And so the terribly dressed and evenly more poorly scripted masked crusaders made a complete exodus from our house. That isn't to say that we had much that had to leave. From the beginning we told Jordan that truly, the show kinda sucks. And for a long time he was with us but some things are too good to last.

So yesterday when he came home from a friend's house he had prepared a detailed list of the reasons why he should be allowed to not only watch Power Rangers Dinothunder but also be allowed to purchase a full costume that he intended to wear "you know, just like for fun sometimes". Points covered include:
- I won't spazz out and chop people
- it would be cool
- I am in control of my actions and will make good choices
- Donovan has one (the friend down the street who I might add was seen just this morning on a walk with his mother and little sister wearing a Spiderman costume complete with mask. hmm.. a man of many disguises)
- Power Rangers teach me good things. "Such as?"
-- to treat people nice, and respect and responsibility for myself, and they teach me how to fight if I had to - like if there was a fire and robbers broke into our house I could POWER RANGER SBD!!! (and this was accompanied by some sort of ninja display that more closely resembled a seizure of some kind)
And finally, my favorite -
- and I'll just, you know, protect the world from bad people.

Can I quickly return to the fact that we are talking about a crappy, polyester, $7.99 at Walmart Power Ranger costume? Gotta love it.

Oh - -and if there is anyone who could shed some light on the whole "SBD" thing I would appreciate it. I assume it is in the same vein as Law and Order SVU which of course, is the Special Victims Unit. But the only thing I've ever known SBD to be an acronym for is in reference to a Silent But Deadly passing of gas. Somehow that hardly seems like a super power. Though I could be wrong.


Later on - -
Jana

Monday, March 28, 2005

Barf-O-Rama

Hey - - who ever said having kids was a lot of work? What do they know?

Last Thursday night, or more accurately early Friday morning I ran into a screaming child's room -
"What's wrong - oh my gosh. Did you throw up?"
And why might I ask such a question? Well it occurred to me as I stood barefoot in a puddle of some sort that something had been launched from his loft bed.

So for the next few days Jordan had a somewhat convenient stomach ache that came as scheduled whenever there were chores to do, meals to be eaten, or any other activity he was just simply "too sick" to complete.
By Sunday morning, after all the birthday festivities were finished, Jordan seemed to be in the best of health. That is, seemed to be until I saw the little orange numbers appear in the corner of the screen during church.
144.
144.
And Jordan is feeling sick in Sunday School. Yet somehow, when I looked at him intently for just a minute or two and said "really? Stomach hurts that much?" he quietly mumbled, "well. . . . Not really."
Shock, confusion, dismay.
It seems that Jordan's new birthday toys "were calling from home". They needed him.


In the following days Jeremy got conjunctivitis, I had a persisting headache due to lack of sleep and Sedona just kept getting crabbier and crabbier. Until Wednesday morning when she joined in the fun and started the most elaborate display of projectile vomiting I have seen to date. So off we go to the doctor just to make sure it is nothing more than your garden variety stomach flu.
Assured that it was nothing more exotic, we returned home to await the diarrhea that would follow the vomiting. As if all of this record breaking spillage wasn't enough excitement . . . then she got pink eye in her left eye. So we treated it with a dose of $45 (!!!!) drops only to have it spread to the right eye yesterday.

And here I sit Monday morning with most of my belongings and all of Sedona's pants covered in poo and my watch still encrusted with puke, with one eye a little blurry and the other starting to itch.
Happy Monday.

So here's hoping that we are looking at the beautiful 70 degree sunny day that will start a week with no puke, no eye goop, and certainly no uncontainable diarrhea.

Don't let the ceiling fall on your heads -
Jana

Monday, March 21, 2005

There's a dead hippopotamus in our yard!

Really? A hippopotamus?
Well - so it would seem.

Welcome to our insanity.
The lineup:
Mom - Jana, Dad - Jeremy, Son - Jordan, Daughter - Sedona.

A balance of the right moon cycles and hormones and you gots a nasty cocktail (which may contain one or more of the following: mucus, tears, feces, urine and, of course, love.)

They say that the average American family has 2.5 children. The .5 role is gladly fulfilled by Dad most of the time.
Things that you can get a giddy about:
- pictures of the kids
- cute little things that the kids say (see title of posting)
- pictures of the kids
- musings of untold comedic value
- pictures of the kids
Our little patch of suburban bliss.
With love, from us to you, that while we think of you daily you might laugh at us as often.